Monday, 9 February 2009

On the Skids

On Saturday night, while half our state was on fire, PJ and I sat on the couch on the deck and watched Juno. We saw it a while ago and loved it, and loved it no less this time around.

I loved the dialogue, I loved the characterisation, I  loved the styling and I loved the plot. And watching it again, I especially loved the dynamics of Juno's family, most significantly, her relationship with her stepmum, played by Allison Janney, (pictured).

I spent the day today googling terms such as 'stepfamily ethnology' and 'stepfamily anthropology' as I researched the paper I'm giving at the Two Fires festival. I also spent time on an Australian stepfamily forum where I read posts and posts written by women about their stepkids, (which they referred to as skids). Women complaining about their skids, women complaining about having to deal with their skids' birth mums, women complaining that their partners leave all the parenting chores and decisions up to them, whether the kids are theirs or their partner's birth kids. Women of all shapes and pseudonyms complaining about skids of all ages and needs.

I have only spent time on travel forums before, where adventurers swap stories about dingy hotels and cheap campavan rentals. But this was something else. I guess this is what forums are for; an outlet for real life stories, in these cases filled with frustration and resentment. The more I read the worse it got. There was no moderator giving sensible advice, there was no kindness towards their skids and there was definitely no one as honourable or as kick-ass as Juno's stepmum.


WriterBee said...

or, obviously, as Z's

ms. delisha said...

Clearly, WriterBee! Well said.

Lucky Z. Lucky Me to know you.

Ana said...

I have a similar feelings. I was part of a stepmom group for a while and it became such a bitch-fest that I had to stop attending.

Lucky Z! And lucky us that we choose not to harbor all that negativity and enjoy the gifts life has brought us.

Meg said...

Absolutely Ana!

Just as on your profile page it has this quote:

"I am always surprised at how many people, who long for immortality, can't think of a single thing to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon." Richard C. Ferris

I am always surprised at how many stepmums crave a connection with their skids but can't see past their own needs to those of their dependents.