Monday, 20 July 2009

Stepmothers, Ahoy!

Are you a stepmother? Can I please interview you?

Or do you know any stepmothers who would be interested in talking to me about their experience of co-parenting their partner's children?

I am currently researching this rich subject and am keen to talk to as many different stepmothers as I can.

Whether you are older or younger, live in Australia or internationally, have birth kids of your own or not, are married or de facto, are a hands on stepparent or more like a friend, I would love to hear from you.

All conversations will be kept strictly confidential.

Please email me at megland [at] gmail [dot] com.


Doily said...

It's a tricky line indeed when a partner has kids, as soon as the relationship begins you become slotted into a strange role. Im not sure I consider myself a step-parent but certainly find myself in that role as we have Simons kids 4 nights a week. You know where to find me if I can help!

h. said...

It's all relative though - you're obviously part of a family, or friends with a family, who have embraced the step-parent/child situation, and so are lucky. I am a stepdaughter, and my experiences are only negative. My stepmum treated me like her own, and we had a great relationship, until her first child was born. She promptly turned into a witch, her family all but forgot me, and she made difficult every decision that should have only been up to my parents and I. She talks down to me (I am now in my twenties), treats me like I am stupid and is always doubting me. Even now, she interferes on decisions/conversations that are private between my father and I, and when he promises to support me (financially, practically etc), she will come back removing that support.
My friends stepmum used to make her scrub the bathroom floors with a toothbrush, often twice at a time, would lock her in her room, threaten to harm her dog, forbade her to practice her school instrument and constantly said bad things about her mother to her. Her father denied it happened, and her stepmum was pro at acting nice in public, so her mother had no choice but to stop her from seeing her father.
My experience of stepmothers is that they think they have the decision-making rights of a real parent, and that they can make any choices about, or decisions for, their step-children.
My belief is that their role is to support their husband/partner, follow his parenting/discipline values and provide love, comfort and safety to their stepchildren.

Meg said...

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and honest comment, H. I am so sorry to hear that your experience as a stepchild was not a positive one.

I hope you feel supported now in your life. I am sending stepmotherly love in your direction today, hoping you don't hold your experience against all of us. xx

rachel said...

im up for an interview.

Teresa Hooper said...

i would love to share my experience as a stepmom. I have two absolutely wonderful daughters, who have been the light of my life. Our family has had a very unique experience at blending families, very positive, very loving, very respectful. I truly believe our family is one of a kind. So any help i can give you in your research, i'll be happy to share. Teresa Hooper,

ohnonichole said...

i'm a stepmom. i was a girlfriend of 9 years and now a wife. he is the love of my life, she is a treasure that any woman/girlfriend/stepmom would kill to have and... i'm a difficult and jealous woman. She's never known a time before me and you're certainly welcome to interview me.

Meg said...

Hi ohnonichole,

I would love to interview you.

My email address is megland [at] gmail [dot] com. When you have a spare moment, could you pls email me so we can work out a time that suits?

Looking fwd to it.

Many thanks,


rbiggs said...

Meg, I have two older step children. It is an adventure. Feel free to contact me if you wish.