Last year when we were considering what kind of school to send Z to, this is exactly the kind of school we hoped for. Sitting in the hall last night I was very aware of how, as parents, we have such high hopes for our kids. I was also very conscious of my usage of the word hope and how many times it was spoken or sung during the night.
I hope you enjoy tonight's performance. I hope you have a great Xmas. I hope my muffins turned out OK.
I like PJ's definition of hope. That to say I hope is to negate accountability and presume that things will change by external means.
When we say I hope, we are really saying that we are powerless, that we have already given up. Hoping that things turn out a certain way is like believing in God or like being superstitious. It is rejecting responsibility. It is a passive aspiration.
And of course I don't feel passively about Z or about any of the other kids at his school or about any of the other things in my life that I feel hopeful for.
In Eastern philosophy they say embrace hopelessness; that we need to smell the shit, know the shit, and stop deluding ourselves.
Am I deluding myself? Am I ready to live without hope? Is the opposite of hope really despair?